Critique

[Pup]

This tree was placed in a post asking or giving the opportunity for critique. One comment was for it to have branches grafted where there appeared to be none. What I did was to wire the those missing branches into position. Then thin out and re pot the tree.
So now we have another opportunity. The other tree is going along nicely according to my Sensei. So I am happy. Pup

P1020741.JPG

P1020742.JPG

[Bretts]

I feel real dumb I can't notice any difference?

[Pup]

I feel real dumb I can't notice any difference?

These pictures are the same, you have to look at the other post of the critique.
500 critique
Pup

[Bretts]

Ok now I'm with ya
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=725&p=6477&hilit=5 ... ique#p6477

I think you may be able to get away with bringing the two upper left branches down much like I have indicated then it could be thinned out much more.

P1020742.JPG

[Steven]

Since you have been brave enough to ask for critiques Pup, I thought I would make it easier for the members here to see the before and after shots;

Pup's shimpaku - before and after.JPG

Regards,
Steven

[Pup]

Thanks for that Steven such a clever boy could you get rid of those white bits on the back drop ?

The reason I am brave is that we need to be aware of other peoples opinions of our tree's.
Most of the time when you have a tree on your bench you see it every day. You sometimes are very content with the tree but, some times you are not sure.
Something gnaws at you every time you look at it.

So what better way to work on it than when some one who is not intimate with the tree. I have a penchant for learning.
When I wake up dead tomorrow there will be two things, I will definitely be pissed off.
Also I will have stopped learning but in the mean time. I will keep on trying to cram my poor little brain ouch Pup

[Steven]

While feeling I am not experienced enough give a critique on your bonsai Pup, seeing as you have encouraged us I will give you my opinion of what I would do if I was fortunate enough to have this bonsai on my bench.

Firstly I much prefer the new pot choice and would look to keep in in this.
The new position of the lower branches gives a much older appearance and the foliage pads look more natural. The new shaping has also cleverly covered (hidden) a couple of blemishes that were present in the before shot. I would look to refine the pad on the second branch (RHS) as I feel it was better in the before shot however I'm sure that the new seasons growth will achieve this.
I would look to increase the size of the crown to achieve a look similar to the before shot. I feel that the overall size, shape and structure of the apex in the before shot was a better fit for this tree. This should be easy with a seasons growth and some strategic wiring.
The reduction in branches towards the middle of the tree has opened up the view of the trunk nicely however I would probably have kept one (or all) as a jin to help achieve an aged appearance.

On a side note, I feel the photography was sharper in the before picture however the presentation is much better in the after shot.

Overall it is a lovely example of bonsai and is one that would be most welcome on my bench anytime! (When are you going to add it to the marketplace Pup?)
Thanks for sharing your work with us and for giving us all the opportunity to share our thoughts with you.

Regards,
Steven

[Pup]

G, day guys I am not ignoring you on the contrary. I am reading your comments and taking on board what you have said.
In one or two seasons it will have some development so I can do the necessary changes I want to do.

What we must remember that when you re pot and wire at the same time you put a lot of stress on the tree.
I would not normally do this but seeing as it was only minimal wiring, I felt it would not a problem.
When you re pot an exotic you do slow it down, the same as with Natives but they will recover a lot quicker, than an exotic.
I thank you for you comments Pup