WITHDRAWN [Alpineart] Ulmus Entry #2

Olivecrazy · Post by **Olivecrazy** » May 29th, 2012, 10:59 pm

VelvetSicklid wrote:Looks great Alp, best of luck with the comp.

I new you would like this tree

Andrew F · Post by **Andrew F** » May 29th, 2012, 11:06 pm

Olivecrazy wrote:
VelvetSicklid wrote:Looks great Alp, best of luck with the comp.
I new you would like this tree

I am quite partial on rafts to be honest

alpineart · Post by **alpineart** » May 30th, 2012, 8:02 am

Hi VS , Its actually referred to as a turtle back or Clump style exposed root . A raft has a series of trunks usually in a line and can either have an exposed sinuous root or a concealed root system .It can be made by laying a trunk down and rooting the under side of the trunk and using selected branches to form the new tree's .

Cheers Alpine

LLK · Post by **LLK** » May 30th, 2012, 9:53 am

I really like the new composition with the slab. Congrats!

Lisa

Pup · Post by **Pup** » May 30th, 2012, 2:05 pm

Hello Alpine, I have two issues with this composition.

First up your wiring still needs to be improved.

Second the front tree is apposed to all others, it does flow left or right, it is an informal upright tree.

I think it should flow to the right to give more direction.

This is just my

for a Bonsai, if you wish to go in the Penjing direction, it still needs to flow together. it sticks out like the proverbial Dogs.

Cheers Pup

Hackimoto · Post by **Hackimoto** » May 30th, 2012, 2:14 pm

I agree with Pup, the front tree's trunk should not be crossing over the other trunks and has too severe bends in it.

$0.04 cents worth, I don't like to do things by halves! The rest of the composition looks great

LLK · Post by **LLK** » May 30th, 2012, 3:33 pm

Hello Alpine, I have two issues with this composition.
First up your wiring still needs to be improved.

I guess the wiring is very visible, on such small trees and with so many trunks close together, so one has to be extra careful when wiring. But the wiring of almost everyone here probably needs improving (mine certainly does) and to remark on it when relevant is rather tiresome.....

Second the front tree is apposed to all others, it does flow left or right, it is an informal upright tree. I think it should flow to the right to give more direction.
This is just my for a Bonsai, if you wish to go in the Penjing direction, it still needs to flow together. it sticks out like the proverbial Dogs.

I don't understand the object of the first sentence.

As for "the flow": there isn't any, which is what makes it such a great composition.
Please enlighten me regarding Dogs that stick out - again I don't understand. Must work at my knowledge of proverbs, while practising my wiring.

Lisa

squizzy · Post by **squizzy** » May 30th, 2012, 3:45 pm

I hope the fact that you two offering advice and critique doesn't exclude alpines tree from the competition. That would be a shame. He has done a great job by himself so far.

Cheers

Squizz

LLK · Post by **LLK** » May 30th, 2012, 4:57 pm

I hope the fact that you two offering advice and critique doesn't exclude alpines tree from the competition. That would be a shame. He has done a great job by himself so far.

Sh..oot! You are so right. I had forgotten about that factor. My apologies, alpine.

Lisa

Pup · Post by **Pup** » May 30th, 2012, 5:53 pm

You have remarked in conversation LLK that you get tired of saying ooh that is nice

.

Yet when some one points out the faults you go on the attack.

The wiring issue has to be addressed Boon reiterated it at the weekend.

The style is octopus so with one side being windswept one side going up at angles( as it should ) and one tree being of the informal upright.

The colloquial saying is it sticks out like dogs Balls I was trying to be polite.

So having answered, you now know why I am sick of answering this sort of thing as I discussed with Steven on the weekend.

Bye

Ozmad · Post by **Ozmad** » May 30th, 2012, 6:05 pm

Hackimoto wrote:I agree with Pup, the front tree's trunk should not be crossing over the other trunks and has too severe bends in it. $0.04 cents worth, I don't like to do things by halves! The rest of the composition looks great

i'd also like to add, that as Pup was saying the trees on the left look windswept, i believe that they need to be straighten up a little and not lean over so far. The main tree in the front needs to give a direction to the group, which i believe would be to the right, and growen slightly taller.
But thats just my constructive oppinion.
All in all its a nice looking group

squizzy · Post by **squizzy** » May 30th, 2012, 6:15 pm

I would put a stop to this critiqing if it were my tree alpine. Thats just my 2 cents worth.

Cheers

Squizz

squizzy · Post by **squizzy** » May 30th, 2012, 6:24 pm

I have just re read the comp rules and it seems its fine to give advice so my appologies.

Squizz

harry · Post by **harry** » May 30th, 2012, 6:42 pm

Advice is fine as the end result will be judged by you the members.

harry

LLK · Post by **LLK** » May 30th, 2012, 6:58 pm

Pup, thank you for your answer, incl. explanations. There is a lot that I feel I could reply, but that might just lead to an irritating exchange in the end. My main message would be to alpine: continue according to your own vision, as you have done until now.
All the best,

Lisa

AusBonsai

WITHDRAWN [Alpineart] Ulmus Entry #2

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