The great Aussie bonsai limerick competition

[FlyBri]

There was once a newbie named Clyde
Bought a Mallsai which he kept inside.
As it sat on the telly,
The soil got quite smelly.
Just one week and it turned brown and died...

[kcpoole]

I'm gutted to be out of the competition by an accident of birth.
Could I be included if I offer to pay carriage on the pot?

Good thing you are procluded from winning Stymie as yours are Verry good!

[kcpoole]

Ok Seeing as there are Bonus points on offer for using any of the mentioned terms.
Do I win Outright if I can use them all in the one Lymerick?

No 1 - Pruning

I was pruning on a bench too high
When stick poked me right in the eye
While sulking indoors I found AusBonsai
There is a comp by Will of Island Bonsai
A chance to win a Nothogagus Gunnii



No 2 - A term from the site on every line

While browsing the web I found AusBonsai
With a post by Will from Island Bonsai
There was discussion about a root Base
Nothing as yet by the bloke called Ace
But a competition to win a Nothogagus Gunnii

[Steven]

I'm gutted to be out of the competition by an accident of birth.
Could I be included if I offer to pay carriage on the pot?

Whilst AB.C started as an Aussie site and by virtue of its origin will always be so, we do recognise that our art is not an Australian art but rather a global art. As such we really appreciate and embrace our overseas members, their art, efforts, opinions and contributions.

I am sure that the overseas members equally enjoy our Aussie trees, online company and banter otherwise they wouldn’t be amoung our membership.
I suppose that is one of the benefits of the Internet - we are not 15 hours away from each other, just a mere keystroke or two.

As for Limericks, well we will just have to wait and see the outcome.

Having said said that, and taking the above into account, where possible prizes should be available to overseas competitors on the basis that they pay the freight, handling and other related costs. There will be certain situations where this is not feasible and therefore this cannot always be a hard and fast rule. Eg someone may offer a prize of a tree which may mean that it is nonsencal to make such a prize available to overseas members. Common sense will need to prevail - as it does on other international sites.

In this particular instance, there is an alternative prize (the Pat Kennedy pot) and as such on this occasion we will open up the prize potential to our international friends.
In the event that an international member does manage to win, then as an inaugural occasion the prize will freighted to them at no charge (thanks to the generosity of one of our members here who wishes to remain anonymous).
This gesture will not occur in future.

Good luck to everyone entering and I look forwards to reading more of your rhythmical bonsai adventures.

Regards
Steven

[stymie]

I'm chuffed to little apples to have my flippant remark taken so seriously
I'd better contribute something in return.

In addition to trees I keep goats
They have to be fed hay and oats
For bonsai, the feed
is different I'll cede
I'll have to swot up and take notes

The cost of package fertiliser
Has risen and as I'm a miser
I'll use excrement
to make a large dent
In the price of the feed now that's wiser.

[tanglefoot]

Lovely, lovely....lots of bonsai limericks coming in. As I browse through the site of an evening, I'm often laughing out loud, some of them are so wonderfully consise with perfect metre, others so wonderfully wild and untamed, all of them fantastic!

There's a drop of music I'm quite fond of....the blues. That's what I've got now

Them Winter Bonsai Blues

I'm a trusting them days will come longa
I'm trusting that 'ol sun will come stronga
I get them chiblaines you see
It aint no fun for me
Just a wee drop more warmth, I'd be fonda

But now I've gotten myself a good plan
I'll build a tunnelhouse here on my land
With a polythene wrap
Tied down, not to flap
Then I'll be a happier, a-bonsaiing man

(something like the incredible shrinking man? Perhaps but with warmer fingers!)

[kcpoole]

Bonsai Summit

Here we are at Bonsai Summit
We are all glad we finally Dunnit
with Brett, Steven, tmaster and me
I hope that next year if will be free
I hope for the limerick comp I now have wonit

Ken

[kcpoole]

While Peter and Kate were here, Kate came up with one about their trip which I post here for her


On our 2009 trip to Australia
we've met bonsai people who can't fail ya
soon we have to go home
but whaerever we roam
know we promise to always email ya

Kate Adams 2009

[Emoska]

A recent Ausbonsai endeavor,
Marked a contest of verse for whomever,
To win the top pick,
Begged a skillful limerick,
But mine was not funny or clever!

[tanglefoot]

I think the limerick part of my brain has just about gone on strike, I'm going to have at least a week off........well, after this last one.....

Also, I have an admission to make......I have written a few poems in the past, so I'm ruling myself out of this competition. Anyway being lucky enough to live in Tassie, I have managed to keep a few Nothofagus gunnii going (it helps having a cool climate), so I don't really need to win one.

For bonsai exotique it is normal
To have the foliage displayed somewhat formal
But our treescape down under
Just fills me with wonder
It's looser, it's wilder.....well informal!

[Spinner]

My passion is playing with trees
It leaves me fair weak in the knees
Ausbonsai enables
Upon revolving tables
Manipulative wire bondage...yes please!


Spinner

[aaron_tas]

Manipulative wire bondage...yes please!

this thread is the best...

[stymie]

We've got to keep this thread in the top slot so:-

This tree that I dug from the ground
appeared to be perfectly sound
But an absence of flair
made me graft some roots there
Now the nebari's nice all around.

[Emoska]

Bonsai is an art to apply,
To the mother of earth and the sky,
With the dwarfing of trees,
And the styling of leaves,
Here’s hoping the next one won’t die!

[lindsay farr]

PINE BONSAI

slender limbs bound, lines that heighten the senses
sturdy trunks benched behind tall wooden fences
those powerful pinus
with form convoluted
they're hard to keep small when they're really well rooted