AusBonsai

I apologize if this is taken the wrong way, but it means a lot to our family.

My mother has always loved bonsai, and is what got me interested in bonsai. She is dying from late stage Ovarian Cancer, having been told she may have about 4 weeks or up to 4 months to live. It is highly aggressive, and the worst cancer that a woman can be inflicted with.

My mother has told me that when she passes, she would like me to pour her ashes on her parents grave site, and to also mix some of her ashes into the bonsai soil mix of certain bonsai of ours that are special to us. This way she would live on through our bonsai, and I will still be with her every day.

What I am asking is, if any of the horticultural experts know if the tree will in any way take up the ashes in some form. Or will it not use any of the ash. Sorry if this is a morbid question, but it is more important that I can try to get the question answered than worry about offending someone, and want to know if this will work. Yes, this is a serious question, I wouldn't ask it, if not for the fact that my mother is very ill, and wants to be 'with' me and my children in this form.

Sorry to hear that news Rory and it will be an interesting discussion.
Also relevant to me as I lost my mum a few months ago now, ( Breast Cancer), and her wish was to spread here ashes in her favourite garden at her golf club. To think that the trees and plants in the garden may benefit and become part of her would be real nice thought

Ken

I am very sorry to hear of your sad position, I have been there a few times.

To Answer your question, no it will not harm your trees providing it is not put in/on in a heavy manner, like mixing in Dolomite lime.

Pup

Sorry to hear of your situation, having lost a close friend to the same cancer it is a horrible way to go. I don't think it morbid but a great way to memorialise your mum, I might have to make similar arrangements for when my own time comes, hopefully not for many years, I want to see my sticks grow into bonsai first.

There is little nutrient in the ash but yes the tree will absorb some of that into itself & thus your mum will be able to be with you for all time. As Pup has said, be careful of adding too much at one time as it is extremely alkaline, even more so than dolomite.

how will you feel about repotting the tree and root pruning it in the future with some microscopic residue of their ashes present ?

Do you put the old soil in the compost bin ? I guess I would personally feel a bit funny about handling the old soil mix.

The ashes will not hurt the trees. In fact, there is a service here in Australia where you can have (some of) your ashes placed in a biodegradable container (looks a little like a take-away Chinese food container) with a tree of your choice that can be planted where ever you wish.

In your situation, it is the spirit of your mum's wishes that prevail and that means the quantity of the ashes used is really not relevant... something appropriate to the size of the bonsai(s) ?

There's some great information here regarding ashes.

I feel for your Mum, you and your family, in this situation. Like Pup, we've been there; one friend has his ashes spread in a Callitris grove and, another, under a majestic Yellow Box on our farm. Both wanted to be in places special to them.

This is a beautiful way to memorialise you Mum, and a comfort to her that you grant her this wish. As you say, she loved bonsai so this seems very fitting. Ash is part of the life cycle for the Australian bush, and, as I notice that you grow mostly natives, this seems a very appropriate way for your Mum, your memories of her, to live on.

Jan.

An alternative just came to mind.
There is a member of a northern bonsai society who has a "memorial" trident which was displayed in the club's recent show.
The owner memorialised her brother by carving a hollow in the trunk, placing the ashes inside, and sealing with a plaque.
The tree definitely evokes a lot of emotion.

wrcmad wrote:An alternative just came to mind.
There is a member of a northern bonsai society who has a "memorial" trident which was displayed in the club's recent show.
The owner memorialised her brother by carving a hollow in the trunk, placing the ashes inside, and sealing with a plaque.
The tree definitely evokes a lot of emotion.

Wow thats amazing

I guess we all have different opinion's about this very personal topic, but I find that tree unsettling myself.

kcpoole wrote:Sorry to hear that news Rory and it will be an interesting discussion.
Also relevant to me as I lost my mum a few months ago now, ( Breast Cancer), and her wish was to spread here ashes in her favourite garden at her golf club. To think that the trees and plants in the garden may benefit and become part of her would be real nice thought

Ken

Thanks Ken. It's a horrible time for my sister and my wife at the moment, your words mean a lot.

Pup wrote:I am very sorry to hear of your sad position, I have been there a few times.

To Answer your question, no it will not harm your trees providing it is not put in/on in a heavy manner, like mixing in Dolomite lime.

Pup

Thanks Pup. That's awesome and is exactly what I was wanting to know.

rookie93 wrote:Sorry to hear of your situation, having lost a close friend to the same cancer it is a horrible way to go. I don't think it morbid but a great way to memorialise your mum, I might have to make similar arrangements for when my own time comes, hopefully not for many years, I want to see my sticks grow into bonsai first.

There is little nutrient in the ash but yes the tree will absorb some of that into itself & thus your mum will be able to be with you for all time. As Pup has said, be careful of adding too much at one time as it is extremely alkaline, even more so than dolomite.

Thank you. Yes, I will keep this in mind. Thank you. Yes, I will do the same for myself if this works I think.

PJs Ronin wrote:The ashes will not hurt the trees. In fact, there is a service here in Australia where you can have (some of) your ashes placed in a biodegradable container (looks a little like a take-away Chinese food container) with a tree of your choice that can be planted where ever you wish.

In your situation, it is the spirit of your mum's wishes that prevail and that means the quantity of the ashes used is really not relevant... something appropriate to the size of the bonsai(s) ?

There's some great information here regarding ashes.

Thank you for the kind comments.

Jan wrote:I feel for your Mum, you and your family, in this situation. Like Pup, we've been there; one friend has his ashes spread in a Callitris grove and, another, under a majestic Yellow Box on our farm. Both wanted to be in places special to them.

This is a beautiful way to memorialise you Mum, and a comfort to her that you grant her this wish. As you say, she loved bonsai so this seems very fitting. Ash is part of the life cycle for the Australian bush, and, as I notice that you grow mostly natives, this seems a very appropriate way for your Mum, your memories of her, to live on.

Jan.

Thank you Jan. Yes, I hadn't thought about that, that is a very good point. Thanks for the kind words.

wrcmad wrote:An alternative just came to mind.
There is a member of a northern bonsai society who has a "memorial" trident which was displayed in the club's recent show.
The owner memorialised her brother by carving a hollow in the trunk, placing the ashes inside, and sealing with a plaque.
The tree definitely evokes a lot of emotion.

That is beautiful and a very touching gesture. I think Mum would love something like this. Thank you Makes me sad, but warm at the same time.

I'm sorry to hear Rory.

wrcmad wrote:An alternative just came to mind.
There is a member of a northern bonsai society who has a "memorial" trident which was displayed in the club's recent show.
The owner memorialised her brother by carving a hollow in the trunk, placing the ashes inside, and sealing with a plaque.
The tree definitely evokes a lot of emotion.

I don't mean to revive any bad feelings, but I actually really like this idea. But would it compromise the structure of the tree?

The only thing I would do differently is engrave the plaque.