How would you improve these trees ?

[Jarrod]

I think it would be a good exercise to post up some great Japanese trees and critique them. I feel it will help the AUSBONSAI community to grow and feel more comfortable about critiquing trees.

24385_378959190770_627470770_4348362_2356274_n.jpg

Please note that the trees in this thread are from Japan and the photos of these trees have been taken by me.

[Gerard]

First branch on the right is getting too fat and has an ugly knob where it branches.
I have a similar problem with one of my maples it is quite old and has these knobs on several branches. I intend to remove branches one or two at a time and regrow them completely.
This is drastic but I see no other option.

If I had a maple as nice as this one I might just live with it and enjoy the tree warts and all.

[rowan]

As I get older I feel less and less inclined to critisise trees. I believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'm sure all of us have trees that are not quite conforming to the 'rules' or even downright ugly but we still like the look of them. I really don't like bonsai that 'conform', they tend to all become the same.

I tend to see every tree as a unique living thing which is perfect in its own way, which is why I don't sell trained or shaped trees. It is up to buyers to shape them the way they like.

Just my take and I know that many won't agree

[Jarrod]

Thanks for the reply Gerard, I agree, first branch has gotten to large and knobly. I also would love to own a tree of this caliper, and i wouldnt change a thing!!

Thanks for your opinion Rowan, I agree also but I think this is a good excise for us to look at a tree with a critical eye, it gives us the ability to pick up on what could be a future issue in your own trees.

Come people lets hear more about it!

[Andrew Legg]

OK here's my

Agree on the branch being too heavy.
Struggle with a lack of taper on the main trunk in the top 2/3 of the trunk.
Top of the tree's trunk is too heavy for my liking
First branches on the secondary trunk are too low.

Other than that, I like it very much, and would question whether the tree has been grown for showing when it has leaves or in winter.

Rowan, I think the point of criticising trees is not to be found in the criticism itself, but rather in the positive influences that addressing the criticisms can bring to the tree, and the learning that we as bonsia practitioners can get from the process. Tree critique needs to be a positive thing. At the end of the day everyone has their own tastes or likes and dislikes, so all that is important is that the end result is satisfying to the tree's owner.

[craigw60]

That big root at the front is very distracting, it has taper issues and their is multiple branches coming from one point in the crown, and more
I am assuming the trees is around the 80-90cm mark and a 2 man lift, its superb I would own it in a flash

[MattA]

I think this is most likely styled with foliage foremost in mind... a variety with both vivid spring & fall colour so the pot is a nice match, but its planted too central. The neabari is all over the shop doesnt flow seamlessly into tachiagari & rest of the tree... Couple of solid bumps (1st & back branch, 2/3 way up main trunk etc)...

I would still be more than happy to have this tree on my bench... Admire it a few years...... pick it to pieces a few more....
Another couple planning a redesign that hopefully wouldnt eventually end up growing out to have the same sort of problems (knobbly bits & taper issues that point to its prebonsai life)

[Dumper]

As I get older I feel less and less inclined to critisise trees. I believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'm sure all of us have trees that are not quite conforming to the 'rules' or even downright ugly but we still like the look of them. I really don't like bonsai that 'conform', they tend to all become the same.

I tend to see every tree as a unique living thing which is perfect in its own way, which is why I don't sell trained or shaped trees. It is up to buyers to shape them the way they like.

Just my take and I know that many won't agree

im with u. but im still young.

[kcpoole]

On the Top RH side, there is a branch with another growing vertically out of it. I would remove this

Below that is another branch that is too short, it makes the outline of the tree have a "Waist" there. this branch also does not seem to have any taper as it looks the same diameter for most of its lenght.

Also on the top left, ther is a branch sticking up at 45 Deg. Looks out of place

Many "Faults" with the tree, but all of them fixable by me 'cos I would have it

Ken

[Tony Bebb]

Don't know about this Jarrod.

As the owner has not requested the critique I would not pass comment.

My thoughts at this time.

Tony

[kcpoole]

I do not see a problem with critiquing a tree that has been posted on a public website?
I assume that when I put a photo on the web, that that invites Comment and criticism. The only thing I can say re this is that if the owner of the photo requests it removal, then it should be linked directly instead.
Is the tree posted with a "please do not use" comment or disclaimer? If not then it is in the public domain and as long as not used for profit then should be OK.

the intention is to use the subject for education rather than just bashing the example shown

Ken

[Pup]

I do not see a problem with critiquing a tree that has been posted on a public website?
I assume that when I put a photo on the web, that that invites Comment and criticism. The only thing I can say re this is that if the owner of the photo requests it removal, then it should be linked directly instead.
Is the tree posted with a "please do not use" comment or disclaimer? If not then it is in the public domain and as long as not used for profit then should be OK.

the intention is to use the subject for education rather than just bashing the example shown

Ken

Ken, did the Owner give permission for it to be published on an open site for critique?

Like Tony, I would not presume as I have not been asked by the owner. Of the tree.

[PaulC]

Hi Jarrod,

Well I may have gone overboard ( AGAIN ? )

But......

After taking away the background, and having a good look at things I saw this.

There are two options, the possible with what is there,

maple white background 9.JPG

And a virt ( with original material )

maple white background 11.JPG

I can add some addition to the branches to the pics, and happy to do so if you might like to see the direction I feel things may lead ?

And then ramification, lots !!

Hope it gives some food for thought jarrod ?


Regards,


Paul

[PaulC]

Sorry ............to play the game, we need to point out some of the faults.

I saw two apex, if you could say the tree had a true apex ?

It is very domed on top.

Nothing wrong with that, an old tree, like an old man, has a domed top.

This tree though having a somewhat domed top, suggests signs of youth.

This comes from the upward reaching branches.

The Y shapes.

Older tress have dropped and heavy branches.

just as the low left hand branch indicates.

Following branches have both heavy older, and light younger branches.

Also the nabari is far too heavy for a young tree, though of course, the tree is of age.

There is confusion.

I took another look at the tree and went to another direction without being to extreme.

maple white background 15.JPG

And again only removed what was there and left the possible.

This gives the trunk taper, shape and character.

Branch development and ramification can follow.

By the way, the virts took me about an hour and a half, off and on, and in about 15 stages.

If anyone is interested seeing any of them, let me know.



Regards,


Paul

[Jarrod]

I hope I haven't offended anyone. I personally photographed this tree while I was touring around japan. It was in an open display, thus I felt it to be in a public arena, and therefore open to critique.

Perhaps it is the title I chose for the thread that is slightly confusing. Shouldn't be find the faults, rather, please offer an in depth critique of the tree. Mods, can you please change the title?