First Literati attempt

[damo19]

Hi everyone,

I recently (July) attempted to bonsai a juniper for my Dad's birthday, and I just wasn't ahppy with the finished product. We went for windswept, although it looked ghastly, (stick in a pot) . I have just looked after it for him last week while he was on an interstate holiday, and the end of the Literati contest inspired me to re-style. We hacked at it yesterday afternoon and this is the finished product.

This is my first attempt at Literati, so I welcome any advice that anyone would like to take the time out to provide. Our future plans are to:
-Grow the top shoot as a branch as another pad to the rear.
-Place at in a smaller pot next spring.

As I said, any advice will be appreciated.

Cheers in advance,

Damo

[kcpoole]

good Effort

I dunno about the top shoot, as a literati, not really necessary for my thoughts

The bottom branch looks too low as well. Agin I do not think it needs it

Ken

[Pup]

Damo your rear is your front, the first branch at the bottom is not needed.

Having said that it also needs to go into a growing pot to get some vigor, back.

As a judge in the comp I was a bit dismayed, at the amount of trees that had all of the tops bent over it seems most of the participants thought this was a requirement.
It is not you can still have the apex as a live crown on top of the tree. You have to think tall and slim, not tall and contorted. That last word seems to be a contradiction,
However there are reasons for some of the shapes.

The first thing to remember is the tall slim tree is trying for light and room to grow its foliage.
The first thing is to get to the light source. So if it is growing in a forest.What better way than straight up.

If it is in the mountains where there are strong winds it gets there and then is blown down again, then the snow effect on the branches,

As per the video that was posted here a couple of days ago. So please think about it.
Cheers Pup

[Webos]

Good advice pup, I would do the same myself. But you have not explained why you see the rear as the front etc. I think it would be helpful to Damo to know the reasons for him changing his tree.

[Pup]

Well I think the back has a much more pleasing line, with no artificial movement, so to speak it appears, much more natural it has more impact to the viewer.

The branch placement is pleasing both in the design and to the eye with much more fluid movement, apart from the lower branch. Also ditch the jins they are definitely unnecessary, but if you wish to keep them, shorten them and put some movement as you have in the branches.
One other thing if you wish to call this a Bonsai, ditch the mud man, if you wish to call it Penjing then you can keep it. Never Figurines, with Bonsai, OK with Penjing and Saikei. This is one of the Japanese cannons, when it comes to Bonsai no figurines on the Bonsai.
This tree in time, will a very nice tree, one to be proud of, if those minor changes are made. This is .
Cheers Pup

[Webos]

good work pup

[ozzy]

Just looks like another candidate for the mulcher to me

[Pup]

Just looks like another candidate for the mulcher to me

Pup


I do expect more comment though

[kcpoole]

Just looks like another candidate for the mulcher to me

You trying to be funny?

I think someone said a while ago that if you have nothing constructive to add, then don't bother at all.

Yes this might be on the young side and thus immature, but the attempt to do a credible style is quite good, The owner has already mentioned the previous styling faux pas that he identified, so shows he is well on the way to learning the hardest thing about bonsai. ie ones own perception of their stock is not as good as they thought it was

Damo has had the balls to put up a tree he did himself, and is prepared to learn from it and the advice we can give him. that makes him in my book.

Have you posted any other trees but your collected olives? Did a search and of the 16 threads you have started, 8 are of Olives, and only one on a collected Pine.
Your olives are big ( as collected ones are), and the pine might look interesting ( you got a photo of the complete tree?), It looks like maybe a radiata to me.
How about you post the collection of your trees you have to show how you make wonderful Bonsai?


my
Ken

[Pup]

Well I think the back has a much more pleasing line, with no artificial movement, so to speak it appears, much more natural it has more impact to the viewer.

The branch placement is pleasing both in the design and to the eye with much more fluid movement, apart from the lower branch. Also ditch the jins they are definitely unnecessary, but if you wish to keep them, shorten them and put some movement as you have in the branches.
One other thing if you wish to call this a Bonsai, ditch the mud man, if you wish to call it Penjing then you can keep it. Never Figurines, with Bonsai, OK with Penjing and Saikei. This is one of the Japanese canons, when it comes to Bonsai no figurines on the Bonsai.
This tree in time, will a very nice tree, one to be proud of, if those minor changes are made. This is .
Cheers Pup

There was a typo in the original it is a wonder no one picked it up as Cannon is a big gun, Canon is law a decree a rule or criterion.
Sorry for the slip

[lennard]

Well I think the back has a much more pleasing line, with no artificial movement, so to speak it appears, much more natural it has more impact to the viewer.

Cheers Pup

That was my feeling also when I saw the pics for the first time.

Charles Ceronio has some nice sketches in his book(Bonsai styles of the world) of actual trees. He calls one like yours in the rear pic a double trunkline.

Lennard

[damo19]

Hey guys, thanks for all the advice. This is actually my third attempt at a response but even now not getting much chance to really analyse the information in great depth. BUt I will get there.

Although this isn't actually mine to touch now, I'll pass the points on to my Dad, and will probably be the one holding the scissors when it is time.

I'm happy with the explanation about removing the lowest branch, so that foliage is focussed towards the apex.

Pup, WRT changing the back to the front, as it consists of two branches, one which was hidden by the current front (best seen in the right view), do you suggest I remove one of the branches? I guess in time the branches will grow more foliage, particularly if I get it in a growing pot as you suggest.

That video you spoke of Pup, was it an literati or was in the Graham Potter video on wiring which was linked by someone. I can't find any others but even then I'm having issues with viewing vids on my machine, trying to get flash player working properly.

Thanks again for all the effort, even the serial sniper (Ozzy), I know it takes time and patience to be that childish, just not a lot.

Cheers,
Damo

[Pup]

[quote="damo19"]Hey guys, information in great depth. BUt I will get there.

.

Pup, WRT changing the back to the front, as it consists of two branches, one which was hidden by the current front (best seen in the right view), do you suggest I remove one of the branches? I guess in time the branches will grow more foliage, particularly if I get it in a growing pot as you suggest.


I have just seen what you have pointed out, it does not alter the look of the tree in the picture. So my advice is to leave there for now. Then as the tree develops make the choice, as to which one goes and which one stays.

As I said in time this will be a nice tree,

Yes it does take something special, to be a pain in the butt
Cheers Pup

[damo19]

Cheers Pup,

I missed your bit about the mud man. I think it won't be a bonsai then, as that was my kids input to the project. Thanks for the tip

Damo